Friday, May 31, 2013


Back in the 1950s a group of wealthy businessmen and industrialists led by Robert Welch and Fred Koch (sire of the Koch Brothers) formed the John Birch Society to warn Americans of the dangers of Communism, Liberalism, Civil Rights, Big Government, Taxes and the Federal Reserve System.   At first they were welcome in the Republican Party, but when they accused President Dwight D. Eisenhower,  his brother Milton and Vice President Richard Nixon of being Communist agents or dupes,  the party washed their hands of them and by the end of the ’60s they were without political influence and pretty much forgotten.    Today, more than 40 years later, there’s been an amazing  revival of the Bircher ideology.   And  this time it’s been welcomed back with  open arms by the Republican Party.  

So I figured it’s about time for a song about it.   Seeing nobody’s hand go up, I volunteered for the assignment.  

The backing music was provided by the Apple Loops Garage Band.   

The Ballad of Robert Welch   
(The John Birch Society Song)
© Dan Sullivan 2013

Robert Welch lived  a long  time ago
He hated Godless Commies, Libs and Rock ’n Roll
He had a knack for making money  and a nose for finding Reds
He even found one underneath Eisenhower’s bed

Welch  placed  Americans in one of four groups
The Communists, the ignorant, the uninformed and dupes
Now which group you fell into didn’t matter much 
That’s the way he saw it, so that’s the way it was

In nineteen fifty-eight bankrolled by great  wealth
The John Birch Society was formed by Robert Welch
And soon folks were following every word he said 
Astonished that just one  man could find so many Reds

When it came to politicians he never pulled a punch
Republican and Democrat got thrown beneath the bus
He found Reds in the churches, he found ‘em in the bars
But when  he called Ike a dupe he probably went too far

By 1965 Welch was out of luck
The GOP disowned him, Bill Buckley called him nuts
The Bircher ranks dwindled, they  faded away
But just like Lazarus, they’d rise again one day

In 1985 they put him in the ground
But guess who’s at the Tea Party hanging around
The Birchers and the Birthers it’s hard to tell who’s who?
Conspiracies everywhere and everyone unglued

The moral of this story the lesson to take home
Is   man is made of more than flesh and blood and bone
And as long as fear and hatred fill the hearts of men
Guys like Robert Welch will always rise again

As long as paranoia  fills the minds of men
Another Alex Jones is always just around the bend